1. PATH OF THE WHIRLWIND

Fear surrounds me
I struggle not to yield
Panic taking hold
Rising in my chest
Desperate, casting around
Searching for a foothold as I'm
Falling away, further each day
Slipping into the black
In the path of the whirlwind
No way back
No way home again
Pain engulfs me
I shut it off and focus but I'm
Helpless and left without an
Option I would choose
Disbelief -- I'd like to fill
Myself up with denial but I
Just have to face, I'm losing the race
Slipping into the black
In the path of the whirlwind
No way back
No way home again
All alone
When the walls come down
See the light
Die without a sound


2. BLINK OF AN EYE

I can't believe my ears
I can't believe my eyes
The silent beast within
Is this my time to die?
Was it something that I did?
Or that I left undone?
Did the hand of fate
Just strike me down
There's nowhere I can run
As I'm told what I must do
And what they'll do to me
I'm not sure I can take this
But I have no choice
Sprinting towards the cliff
Closer to the edge
Death itself gives chase
And I can't find my voice
Find my voice
Everything's changed now
No matter the outcome
It can't be the same again
No way to go back
All I ever knew
Laid waste in an instant
In the blink of an eye
Life can pass you by
Oh no, here it comes again
The wheel comes 'round
To crush us underneath


3. NO TICKETS TO THE FUNERAL

Pile the bodies higher
Climb to the top so the world can see
The depth of your sympathy
Worn as it is upon your sleeve
Where's the true compassion
In this vapid, sickly cult
Of worshipping celebrity?
Struck with my mortality
Dazed by the reality
Forced upon my eyes
Dying from the time we're born
But few are prepared
To be told it's time
Tell my friends I fought
Tell my friends I struggled
Tell my friends I gave it all I had
There won't be any tickets to this funeral
(the curtain is falling)
There won't be any story in the news (silenced)
No voyeurs masquerading as mourners
There won't be any tickets left for you
A single one's a tragedy
A million a statistic
And now it's all come down to me


4. DREAMS FROM THE PIT

Lately when I sleep perchance to dream
I'm driven to the brink of madness
By the things I've seen
With perfect clarity I see
From all the chapters of my life
Faces staring at me
Mocking me with laughter full of spite
Falling deeper into this sea of doubt
My lungs are filling up
And it seems there's no way out
When I wake and I reflect on what I've dreamt
I can't shake the penetrating
Stares that haunt me with contempt
I’ve been judged and been found wanting
By a jury of my fears
And this feeling of such worthlessness
Is tearing me to pieces
Falling deeper into this sea of doubt
My lungs are filling up
And it seems there's no way out
I never saw the thread as it was sewn
Connecting all those faces I had known
But somehow now they all respond in kind
I'm struck down like a child
And I'm afraid I'll lose my mind
Please release me
I don't want to feel this any more
I'm terrified that this could be
A glimpse of what's in store
At Peter's Gate
I can't shake it
I've been judged and been found wanting
And I'm worthless
Falling deeper into this sea of doubt
My lungs are filling up
And it seems there's no way out
Falling deeper into this pit of dreams
The nightmares stay with me
And I struggle not to scream


5. NOONDAY DEVIL

I swear this room is empty
But I can hear the voice
And eyes are crawling on me just like flies
Calling into question
Every thought and choice
Telling me that all I know is lies
Dejected and disgusted,
I'm inclined to give it up
What's the use? Why go on? It all means nothing
I'm starting to think I've been deceived
And there's no reason to believe
And all has failed, there's no relief
The tempting whispered thoughts of the Noonday Devil
Am I beyond redemption?
Sick beyond repair?
Is all this just a futile exercise?
If everything's a failure
Then it's more than I can bear
To stumble on in search of some false prize
Tear me down, use me up
Break my will, and watch me fall
Wear me out, let me go – the flesh…the flesh is weak
No! I refuse
No! I can do this
No! I will fortify my will
Into an iron tower
I'll put those thoughts out of my head
I won't be given up for dead
I'll focus on the road ahead
Get behind me now
Faith deserts us all sometimes
And demons infiltrate our minds
But I'm not gonna lose this time
I’m gonna break the back of the noonday devil


6. LET IT RAIN

Reflection
A mirror held upon a life
As the minutes turn to hours
Hours blurring into days
Attention
To all the things left undone
To the words we were too afraid to say
As each passing second slips away
Let it rain
Wash away the poison
The stains of past misdeeds subside
Let the water bring life
In a world of second chances
No surrender to the plague inside
Asking just to start anew
Contemplating irony
A body fed with venom
Seeking life from death
Searching
Searching for the meaning
Can the lessons learned unburden the struggle
For one fortunate enough to have the chance
Fortunate enough to start again
The road unfolds before us all
But where it leads no one can see
So walk without regret and without fear
But never lose your empathy
I'm seeing what I can only hope
Is light ahead
I’m standing, with an ever-growing faith
That now is not my time
Oh let it rain


7. FOCUS

We can find that we have wandered so far from the path
We can find that we've lost sight of all of the things we really had
Now I've reached this destination, but I wonder where I've come
Where's the goal that I once dreamed of at a time when I was young?
As the earth gives way beneath my feet
And I stumble blindly all alone
Through an isolated plane of fear
Haunted by the dreams that I disowned
When the hourglass seems out of sand
And nothingness seems close at hand
You'll remember all you really had
And it brings things into focus
I can put aside the phantoms
Conjured by the sirens' songs
I can strive to find the meaning
And learn I knew it all along
I can look back to the life I had
And the things I wanted for myself
I can turn and try to walk the path
And ignore the search for something else
But if all we have is just one try
I want to live before I die
Does there have to be a reason why?
Would it bring things into focus?
So if all I have is just one try
I have to live before I die
I'm not sure I need a reason why
Just to bring things into focus?
But the hourglass seems out of sand
And nothingness seems close at hand
And I think of all I really had
And I want it back in focus


8. PERFECT

This could be anything
This could be everything
Don't let a fantasy
Keep you from being free
We all dream of how things could be
(dream of how things could be)
But the wise make peace with reality
Girl, we're just wasting time
Come and see what we find
On the other side
We all dream of how things could be
(dream of how things could be)
But the wise make peace with reality
We should devour life
Suck the marrow from each day
But so many times
We stand in our own way
And make the perfect the enemy of the good
Perfect
We all dream of how things could be
(dream of how things could be)
But the wise will embrace the good
We all dream of how things could be
(dream of how things could be)
But the wise make peace with reality


9. BEGIN AGAIN

The stresses of all these years
Their toll is manifest
Never felt
But now revealed
As I'm put to the test
This manufactured world of pain
Brings shock to the system
That rearranges DNA
Into a code of death
Evidence now introduced
The provenance is clear
Carelessness brings changes
If one is cavalier
If everything’s in balance
Our bodies respond
Bur challenges emerge as life goes on
Women cry as children become men
And all that I can do is try to set things right again
Fear and doubt, confronted by our end
But all that we can do is try to become whole again
Witness the parallels
Between life and cells
Under stress to divide
Trying to conform
To what might seem the norm
Has brought me here where I might die


10. STRONGER THAN DEATH

Push the needle in my arm and give me poison
I can take whatever comes, I will not bow
This is just another battle in the war
And I will scratch and claw with everything I have
And I won't pay the ferryman -- I won't be taken to the other side
And you have to know (your threats have all become so hollow)
I am so much stronger now (like strawmen falling apart)
And I have the will (birth has always been a terminal condition)
To fight until the final beat of blood escapes this heart
(I am steeled, spirit strong with resolve in my heart)
Pull the marrow from my bones and then destroy it
I can will myself to overcome this all
Give me everything you've got, I defy you
I will break you and will laugh as you go down
And I will not gently to the night
Death where is your victory
I've struck you down
The truth for all to see
You tried to kill me…but I’ve killed you
And you have to know
I am so much stronger now
And I have the will
To fight until the final beat of blood
And you have to know
I am so much stronger now
And I have the will
To fight until I've crushed you
I am steeled; spirit strong
And I will crush you


11. DEPARTURE OF THE PALE HORSE

Emerging into the light
A thousand empty pages
Left to me to write
And I won't subjugate my dreams to mortality
I won't live every day I have as if it is my last
But I'll live each to the full
The poison stops, its work is done
I'm half surprised that I'm still standing
I've returned to the road
That I was on before this happened
Seems so long ago
The pale horse skulks away
Its rider empty-handed
It's not about some act of courage
I only did what I was forced to
My will to live was stronger than
The will to die that I once had
But that I have let go
Never to return
The preciousness of life
The lesson that I've learned
That I've learned, that you've learned
And that we all are learning still
(where is your victory? where is your sting?)
I've looked death in the eye
Turned and walked away
There's nothing left to fear
I have stood in the path of the tornado
Where life goes by in the blink of an eye
And they won't be selling tickets to my funeral, no tickets
I've dreamt them, I've dreamt them, the nightmares from the pit
I have broken the back of the noonday devil
I've crushed the skull of the devil
Let it rain, keep raining now, keep raining now,
Keep raining now, keep raining now
I've have brought my life in focus, I've brought my life in focus
And it's perfect enough for me, it's perfect enough for me,
It's perfect enough me
I will begin again, I will begin again
I'm stronger than death
And the pale horse departs