1. PRELUDE TO A CRAWL

(Instrumental)


2. HENNEPIN CRAWLER

Well you can ride the hennenpin crawler for a dollar
Peddle it around the world
You can ride the hennepin crawler for a dollar
Impress them steam punk girls
If you ride the hennepin crawler for a dollar
You'll feel that burn in your thigh
Cause when you ride the hennepin crawler for a dollar
You get to touch that pie in the sky

He'll show his crusty old pickle for a nickel
Must say I'd rather not
He tried to show a girl off of florence street
He's damn lucky he didn't get caught
Fell asleep on night with a lit cigarette
As he tried to drink away his pain
When a fireman doused his burnt out shack
All they found was a greasy stain

Go go
Go go
Go go
Go go
Go

Now you can ride the hennepin crawler for a dollar
And peddle your cares away
You ride the hennepin crawler for a dollar
You best be prepared to pay
Cause when you ride the hennepin crawler for a dollar
There's no friends or cuttin' deals
You can ride the hennepin crawler for a dollar
Sweat's gonna grease them wheels

Go go
Go go
Go go
Go go
Go go
Go go
Go go
Go

He tried to buy a lotta ore for a quarter
Way back in the olden days
He sold his soul for a donut hole
He could muster the nerve to ask for a raise
She sold sea shells and other things
Down by the old sea shore
When she sold her song to a beer commercial
She looked like a filthy whore
Haha

Go go
Go go
Go go
Go

Now you can ride the hennepin crawler for a dollar
Peddle it around the world
You can ride the hennepin crawler for a dollar
Impress them steam punk girls
You can ride the hennepin crawler for a dollar
You feel that burn in your thigh
Cause when you ride the hennepin crawler for a dollar
You get to bite that pie in the sky
You get to bite that pie in the sky
You get to bite that pie in the sky
You get to bite that pie in the sky
You get to bite that pie in the sky

Go go
Go go
Go go
Go go

Hennepin, hennepin crawler
Hennepin, hennepin crawler
Hennepin, hennepin crawler
You can ride the hennepin crawler for a dollar


3. LAST SALMON MAN (FISHERMAN'S CHRONICLES PART IV)

The river waters diverts to other places
to nurture central valley seeds
The Northern water that sloshes desert fairways
Fulfills So-Cal golfers needs

The mighty chinook that used to bend the rivers
Into the ground within it pond
Fade numbers as the tributaries wane
Soon they'll all be gone

Jimmy Mac runs the troller of his father
Who got it passed down from his Pa
Three crow seasons and a backnote on his shoulder
Jimmy's hiding from the law

Jimmy watched as the bulk of the fleet
Sold their boats or moved away
But after the stroke
He promised to his father
He'd do his best to stay
Bodega Bay

He remembered the days when his father used to show him
How to set and tend all of the gear
With his hand on his shoulder he looked out at the water
And said son
"It is my fear, that you'll be the Last Salmon Man"
You're the Last Salmon Man
You're the Last Salmon Man
You're the Last Salmon Man of the MacGonagle Clan

2010 they re-opened Nor-Cal waters
To the Salmon chasing slew
Four straight days Jimmy trolled the jagged coast line
But the fish were far and few

Jimmy watched as the bulk of the fleet
Packed their boats and moved away
But on his deathbed
He promised to his father
He'd do his best to stay
In Bodega Bay
Bodega Bay
Bodega Bay
Bodega Bay
Bodega Bay
Bodega Bay

He remembered the days when his father used to show him
How to set and tend all of the gear
With his hand on his shoulder he looked out at the water
And said son
"It is my fear, that you'll be the Last Salmon Man"
You're the Last Salmon Man
You're the Last Salmon Man
You're the Last Salmon Man of the MacGonagle Clan

Last Salmon Man
He's the Last Salmon Man
He's the Last Salmon Man
He's the Last Salmon Man of the MacGonagle Clan


4. ETERNAL CONSUMPTION ENGINE

Ohh I like it
Ohh man I like it

I like it, I think I'm gonna like it
I like it, I think I'm gonna like it
I like it, I really really like it
I think I'm gonna buy cause I really really like it

Sell me something
Sell me something

Ohh I like it, I really really like it
I like it, I really really like it
I like it, I think I'm gonna buy it
I think I'm gonna buy cause I really really like it

Eternal Consumption Engine
Here in the USA
Eternal Consumption Engine
Sure do like to spend our pay
Eternal Consumption Engine
More make it more I'll buy
Eternal Consumption Engine
Slangin' out the slices of American Pie

Eternal Consumption Engine
Every time I get a little bit bored
Eternal Consumption Engine
Head to the Wally-Mart store
Eternal Consumption Engine
Livin' high on the greasy hog
Eternal Consumption Engine
As long as they don't deport my job
Eternal Consumption Engine
Cause Everything's is made in China
Eternal Consumption Engine
Everything nowadays is made in China

Eternal Consumption Engine
Eternal Consumption Engine
Eternal Consumption Engine
Eternal Consumption Engine

Eternal Consumption Engine
Eternal Consumption Engine
Eternal Consumption Engine
Eternal Consumption Engine

(Everything's made in China)
Eternal Consumption Engine
(Everything's made in China)
Eternal Consumption Engine
(Everything's made in China)
Eternal Consumption Engine
(Everything's made in China)
Eternal Consumption Engine

Everything's made in China
Everything's made in China
EVerything's made in China
Everything nowadays is made in China


5. TRAGEDY'S A' COMIN'

Tragedy's A' Comin'
And I cannot step aside
No I cannot step aside
There's no place to run and hide
Tragedy's A' Comin'
And I cannot step aside
No I cannot step aside
Damn my bastard pride

From the middle of nowhere
He rides it all alone
From the edges of somewhere
He's grindin' flesh and bone
From the fringes of darkness
He breathes a steady hand
And the tinges of poison
Come seeping from his glands

Tragedy's A' Comin'
And I cannot step aside
No I cannot step aside
There's no place to run and hide
Tragedy's A' Comin'
And I cannot step aside
No I cannot step aside
Damn my bastard pride

If you ask him nicely
Perhaps he'll go away
Just move politely
And beg him not to stay
With a mouth full of garbage
He spits into your eye
And an ear full of pity
He'll teach you how to die

Tragedy's A' Comin'
And I cannot step aside
No I cannot step aside
There's no place to run and hide
Tragedy's A' Comin'
And I cannot step aside
No I cannot step aside
Damn my bastard pride

She stands before us
With a Bible in her grasp
When she opens her mouth up
You can hear the wretched rasp
Like a bucket of barnacles
She's abrasive to the skin
Like the ignorant masses
That hope someday she'll win

Tragedy's A' Comin'
And I cannot step aside
No I cannot step aside
There's no place to run and hide
Tragedy's A' Comin'
And I cannot step aside
No I cannot step aside
Damn my bastard pride

Tragedy's poundin'
Hard against your door
And the cancer's eating
At your inner core
And you're feeling helpless
Can't control the game
Do you fade away softly
Or go out in a ball of flames cause

Tragedy's A' Comin'
And I cannot step aside
No I cannot step aside
There's no place to run and hide
Tragedy's A' Comin'
And I cannot step aside
No I cannot step aside
Damn this bastard pride


6. EYES OF EYES OF THE SQUIRREL

The Eyes of the Squirrel are watching
The Eyes of the Squirrel are watching

The Eyes of the Squirrel are watching
Barry swing his bat
Piano playing cats
Big mouth drunken whores

The Eyes of the Squirrel are watching
Drama that's for free
On reality TV
Where's that tuna casserole

The Eyes of the Squirrel are watching
The Eyes of the Squirrel are watching

The Eyes of the Squirrel are watching
As we change our minds
At least a half a dozen times
I will lead the reveille [?]

The Eyes of the Squirrel are Watching
The oil's constant flow
Through the Gulf of Mexico
Anyone for battered shrimp?

The Eyes of the Squirrel are Watching
The Eyes of the Squirrel are Watching

The Eyes of the Squirrel are Watching
Some idiot start to fester
Where he shot that child molester
Some call him hero, some call him con

The Eyes of the Squirrel are Watching
Another arrogant Ass
Says he's got an N word pass
What the hell's an N word pass

The Eyes of the Squirrel are Watching
The Eyes of the Squirrel are Watching

The Eyes of the Squirrel are Watching
Brad and Angeline
Expand their family
Who's gonna be the next Octomom

The Eyes of the Squirrel are Watching
Obama wave his pecker
At the infrastructure wreckers
Sayin' what you gonna do about that gun control

The Eyes of the Squirrel are Watching
The Eyes of the Squirrel are Watching


7. JILLIY'S ON SMACK

Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back, for the holidays
Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back, for the holidays

Jilly left home
Went to pick her own bone
She made her own
In the marketplace

Now Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For these holidays

Now Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For the holidays

Jilly had a smile
That spanned over a mile
She left him standing in the aisles
Of the big parade

Jilly always phoned her mother
Emailed daily to her brother
Til she took a junkie lover
And began to fade

Now Jilly's on smack, and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For the holidays

Jilly's on smack and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For the holidays

Jilly's on smack and she won't be comin' back
No she won't be comin' back
For them holidaaays


8. LEE VAN CLEEF

Got a badge, a Red Rider at Rocket
Camp out at (?Nohack?) Peak
Lookin' for jailbirds left
And right tryin'a knock 'em up out the trees
Everybody I know's watchin'
Clint, we all like watchin' Clint
Hi Hi Hi Hiiiiii
All the li'l Snaps wanna be like
Clint; they all wanna be like Clint
But I wanna be like Lee Van Cleef; ya know
I wanna be like Lee
Whatever happened to Lee Van Cleef;
Whatever happened to Lee?

A yellow Studebaker with a 302, I see the green naugahyde
He put a coupla dings in that pick-up truck,
A few more dents in his pride
At Hilltop Drive-In they're watchin'
Clint; they all like watchin' Clint
Hi Hi Hi Hiiiiii
All the babies scream they wanna see ol'
Clint; they all wanna see ol' Clint
But I wanna see Lee Van Cleef;
Ya know I'd like to see ol' Lee
Whatever happened to Lee Van Cleef;
Whatever happened to Lee?

(Just a lil ol' tease o' Ler...)

Now the Studebaker's gone, Lee's passed on,
Clint's still sharp as can be
Hilltop Drive-In is an Auto Mall,
But no one's built over Lee
He'll get a kick outta watchin'
Clint, we all get a kick outta Clint
Hi Hi Hi Hiiiiii
But Lee never been none quite like
Clint, there's really only one Clint
But I really did like Lee Van Cleef;
I sure did really like Lee
Whatever happened to Lee Van Cleef;
Whatever happened to Lee?

(Now for the full Ler experience...)

We still get a kick outta watchin'
Clint; we all get a kick outta Clint
Hi Hi Hi Hiiiiii
There ain't never been one quite like
Clint, there's really only one Clint
I always did like Lee Van Cleef; always did like Lee
Nobody's steely like Lee Van Cleef.
Whatever happened to Lee?
Whatever happened to Lee Van Cleef?
Don't forget about Lee.


9. MORON TV

Bang-da-Bang-Bang-Bang Bang

She feeds her face with cheddar balls
As my brain cells start to pop
She licks her fingers, stares away
Her IQ slowly drops
I pry my eyes as best I can
From that big electric stain
She feeds her face with cheddar balls
And crams more nonsense in her brain

Bang-da-Bang-Bang-Bang Bang

Just when I thought I'd seen it all
They pull a cretin from the shelves
And flash that filth under their nails
To make us feel better about ourselves
As they ooze across the screen
Like a pustule gutter troll [?]
We fill our coffers full of gold
And praise the seal of a Asshole

Bang-da-Bang-Bang-Bang Bang

Moron TV
There's got to be more on TV
There's got to be more on TV
Than just Moron TV

Moron TV
There's got to be more on TV
There's got to be more on TV
Than just Moron TV

Moron TV
There's got to be more on TV
There's got to be more on TV
Than just Moron TV

Well that one's fit for a sex tape
Well that one's fit for a dad
Well that one had more babies
Than anyone's ever had
That one married a rock star
That made all little girls squeal
And that one want to be president
Cause she's got more eye appeal

Bang-da-Bang-Bang-Bang Bang

Moron TV
There's got to be more on TV
There's got to be more on TV
Than just Moron TV

Moron TV
There's got to be more on TV
There's got to be more on TV
Than just
Bang-da-Bang-Bang-Bang Bang
Bang-da-Bang-Bang-Bang Bang
Bang-da-Bang-Bang-Bang Bang


10. GREEN RANGER

I took a ride with the Green Ranger
He stepped up and showed me lots of things
It liquified my eye
And sliced me up like pie
All night my right ear always rings

I took a ride with the Green Ranger
Things were not quite as I had thought
The Novato city fire
Turned my nostril hairs to wire
That's the night I nearly lost the plot

Ohh you nearly lost the plot
Now didn't ya laddy
Put on the bucket

Electrifies the night
It aquifies the sight
Watch out before you might just lose the plot

Who wants to ride with the Green Ranger
Who wants to ride with the Green Ranger
Who wants to ride with the Green Ranger
Who wants to ride with the Green Ranger


11. HOINFODAMAN

How bout one of them footlong sandwiches
Got some tasty cola round here

Wow...look at that Chevy go
She's faster than greased up lightnin'

Soda pops and pimple cream
Will proudly kick you down the green
Just coat your cred with Vaseline
And shove it up your ass

Used to be a pimp
But now I'm Hoinfodaman
I'm Hoinfodaman
I'm Hoinfodaman
I used to be a pimp
But now I'm Hoinfodaman
I'm Ho'n for the advertising, advertising man

Ohh man that a juicy burger
Crispy on them fries please

Used to be a pimp
But now I'm Hoinfodaman
I'm Hoinfodaman
I'm Hoinfodaman
I used to be a pimp
But now I'm Hoinfodaman
I'm Ho'n for the advertising, advertising man

He used to be a pimp
But now he's Hoinfodaman
He's Hoinfodaman
He's Hoinfodaman
He used to be a pimp
But now he's Hoinfodaman
He's Ho'n for the advertising, advertising man

Now soda pops and pimple cream
Will always kick you down the green
But the worst thing about ole Charlie Sheen
Was when he was [?] ass

Used to be a pimp
Now I'm Hoinfodaman
I'm Hoinfodaman
I'm Hoinfodaman
Used to be a pimp
But now I'm Hoinfodaman
I'm Ho'n for the advertising, advertising man

He used to be a pimp
But now he's Hoinfodaman
He's Hoinfodaman
He's Hoinfodaman
He used to be a pimp
But now he's Hoinfodaman
He's Ho'n for the advertising, advertising man


12. EXTINCTION BURST

Today is going to be the greatest day of your life
Today is going to be the greatest day of your life
Today is going to be the greatest day of your life

With a head full of pancakes
A gut full of rot
He shoots from the hip
For one final...

Extinction Burst
Extinction Burst
Extinction Burst
Extinction Burst

He ran like a Bastard
And jumped like an ape
He left the crowd cheering
His one final...

Extinction Burst
Extinction Burst
Extinction Burst
Extinction Burst

Extinction Burst
Extinction Burst
Extinction Burst
Extinction Burst

Randy's thrown fastballs
Like man's never known
Kobayashi ate hotdogs
To take the throne
The avocado is shedding it's pit
Beef on a pancake
Your dream don't mean shit

Extinction Burst
Extinction Burst
Extinction Burst
Extinction Burst

Today is going to be the greatest day of your life
Today is going to be the day you get up on your heels and fight
In the face of all that you disdain you will burn so bright
Extinction Burrrrrrrst


13. SALMON MEN

(Instrumental)