1. FROM UNITY

There's all but nothing to let go of
That is, nothing of no-thing

There's all but nowhere to reach for
For it's nowhere we have left from

A void in definition
Avoiding defining

There is not
We are not
Everything in nothing

A state of constant change
In the space where taking takes place

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2. THROUGH CONFUSION

Falling, descending from grace
Emptiness-in filth cure means deceit
I'm waiting for SALVATION
And the dead shall reign beside me

So run, as past builds our fate
Tethered and bound
Heartache and blood
And fear I can't hide

Kill the thrill to be free
Suppress my heart
Collapsing itself

In dreams of truth
I loath and defile

In profound confusion blessed desire...
Oh, it wakes...and quakes
Tidalwaves of godlike passion fray...
And then fade

If love was my crest and a means to survive,
Existing only in self-righteous lies
Now, with fury I degrade my kind
Within bitter strength resides
My God in me
Waiting for this cleanliness to
Flee from me

I, a key that unlocks the cage
Also the one with which demons are made
I

(After such a time in perfect union,
all these opposing forces tear me to shreds.
Kneeling at the altar of disgust I realize
how deep the abyss I'm staring into, is.)

Malice, bleed the weak
Hardened
-curse every creed, prayer, empathy swollen
Taste hell-the only way to

Push, and pull you aside
Push, until you bide
Pump, and grow me inside
Pump, until I crack

Religion is weak
Religion thrills the weak

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3. AND BITTER SUFFERING

In this void I had become one
Terrifying light and wave
A petrifying presence in the heart still yearning to learn

I close in on the whining,
Pretentious human waste
A herd of sheep just waiting to be slaughtered
And so...

...I drink the stale, the foul, the soothing nectar
Of the One who feeds on hate and strife
Still feasting Himself sick

I've been searching, but stuck inside this wave
Of random notions I believe are the same
No window open to look outside from
Forcing me to change

And BREAK

Raw, all-encompassing emotion bursts free. Inhibitions give way for an intuitive revelation from deep within.
In complete Unity it's also me who rapes and tortures. Mine is the tongue of blasphemy.
Pervert, incest, hollow, hopeless. In bloodshed I find ecstacy. I'm tireless of misery. A prince of Pain shall I be...

Disintegrated-I still yearn to pray
To empty faces that still turn away
And quote another book

A body open, maggot infested.
A vague look of existence and faith
How long will my breath still reek of death?

Until ends and beginnings of beginnings that end
In ends and beginnings are beginning to end again

Fear has no abode in me
I caress this pain as self-inflicted
For a hand that wounds is mine no matter
Whose the hand when it was lifted
I find solace only in these extremes

My being charred
I'm tired of moving
Exhausted by my struggle
Living only to dive deeper in this seeking of release

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4. TOWARDS LETTING GO

I feel it growing across my skin, how all hate is worn weak and thin
Dive, part with ocean and sink in the sky, my time is nigh

I, my vision is clearing
I, a tool of creation
Why then do I choose to keep fearing
A God without wonders

I'm closer and closer and so sure this time
It's over and older than stars in the night
The spiral has uncoiled-I'm bathing in light

Agonizing.shards inside the loom-lines of my whole life...
I've hidden a trap to bind me tight

To hold and slay the bait and prey
Between the hammer and the anvil

Slipped out through the open wound of coveting in me
The pressure of avoiding all, a monolith beneath
I will not stay where secrets lie and blessings grow and grin
Ignoring all these human sides I give my spirit wings

Fresh, newborn, core
Flesh, old form, torn
Pulse, beating, wild
Soul, greeting, wide

Safe
From harm

Open wounds and humble mind,
Seeking truth inside

I, will make it clear this time
By now the struggle is gone

I, emancipate and suffocate
I, beyond and beside

Silent I have become
A prison without anyone to guard

Pure in heart, I bend
And build no barriers within
The resolution's mine
A (r)evolution urging me
Expanding my threshold unwillingly

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5. OF STRUGGLING

...ends and beginnings of beginnings that end in ends and beginnings of beginnings
of ends and beginnings of beginnings that end in ends and beginnings of beginnings of ends and beginnings
of beginnings that end in ends and beginnings of beginnings of ends and...

Fragile and unable
To forget how I was mislead
Into bliss...

This has been necessary
So death be adorned
Sought by the host of haunted
Precious to my human form

Oh, the distress and anguish
Emptiness
Cursed be teachers and preachers
Those who enslaved my weak mind
And led raw, archaic emotion into stables
And by fables and false witness they crafted such a pretence
I swallowed whole...
...but these holes bleed no more..

Retreat back to sleep
For when you wake you'll realize it's just a dream
In dreams I won't weep
For on your corpse I'll spit with savage glee

One by one I'll shred your masks
Unveil all filth,
Disembowel myself
In order to purge this longing within
-A childish remnant of the need to demand and defy

After all is said
Shadow from substance
Lies remain inbred
In shame I bow my head

Re-create consciously
For in dreams are sown the seeds of constant need
Embrace reality
Let my egoistic trip end finally

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6. AND FINDING BALANCE

(spoken word)

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7. WITHIN HARMONY

In the point of nothing
to let go of no-thing
There's nowhere I have left from
and nowhere I reach
Avoiding definition
A place so unique
A state of constant change...and I belong to no one

I am the space
The space in which taking and aching are taking place

I've lowered my sails
Afloat on currents beyond compare

Tied and waning, weeping time is all away

Peeled my skin, then burning
Unfortified now
An open doorway
Embrace pain willingly

I'm roaming through the dark with no saviour on my side
To ennoble and sanctify my flesh, the cradle is gone

But I don't feel afraid
Surrendered to it all the way
There's no reason I should tremble
Open up and let go

Fight the wheight, the wheight of
All courtesies bestowed
Strike when preyed, when prayed on
And captured in a hole

I am compensated with all that I've lost
My torn and bleeding wounds have all been healed
I'm One with All again

So beginnings will end in ends and beginnings will end in ends and beginnings will end in ends and beginnings will end in ends and
Another useless bloodshed, it's WAR

KNOW THIS :

Waning lives are raped – IN WAR
With open arms receiving
Waiting for the seed – OF WAR – LET GO
And drown indifferently

Bright and still
I stand the onslaught
Of my twisted will
And parade along the edge of the knife

I've been led into
Harmony unbound

It's a state of pure sound that threw me on the ground

And so:

Waining lives strengthen – THROUGH WAR
Those times will mend and fade
I'm free from all strain

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8. BETWEEN OPPOSITES

Crawl straight into the mouth of my all-devouring eye

No hold and touch, a void in between
Liquid light, a vision so serene

Clear mind-able to bend on itself

Hate, hate, hate elates
Faith, faith, faith creates
A safe, safe, safe existence
Re – create everything in nothing

A world between opposites dying in our ignorance
United after struggling, found the balance nurturing

Now I lie still and wait

Constant motion crushing bones
I find solace only in these extremes

Shedding unconventional skin
THERE IS NO SIN
Salvation means absolutely nothing
I am and I am not I am (not)
Throughout existence a fresh taste of suffering's needed
Peace only weakens the will and breeds lazy minds

No more hesitation
No more, letting go.

All and beyond, a creation of wonder and destruction.
Standing on a crumbling pedestal

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9. UNITED

(exeunt omnes)