1. TROPHY WIFE

August 21st, 1953

Let me set the scene!

The table's set with the silver cutlery
The crystal's out for the champagne, Chardonnay
To celebrate the anniversary
Of 9 years ago, when he came back home

Please come in and take a seat
You're all on cue the party's just beginning
He's right inside, our proud marine
Man of the hour, reason that we've all convened

Let me propose a toast
To a husband and a father
Brave, he gave us hope

His absence tortured me
Can just imagine all the evil that he has seen
I watch him while he dreams
He stays asleep through the sweats and the screams
It's haunting him, so it's haunting me
I'll just take my perfect smile and just let it be

The table's set with the silver cutlery
The crystal's out for the champagne, Chardonnay
To celebrate the anniversary
Of 9 years ago, when he came back home
And now when he leaves on business trips and the meetings
It makes me feel sick and incomplete
Our boy needed his father home
I was on my own, disunited home

His charming smile it's hypnotic pleasantry
Either that or maybe too much wine
Tingles up my spine and makes my body weak

Intoxicating
I'm feeling jaded, overjoyed I know it shows I hope they all can see
Preeminence in this life we lead
Captivated by the love that we share I hope they all can see

The table's set with the silver cutlery
The crystal's out for the champagne, Chardonnay
To celebrate the anniversary
Of 9 years ago, when he came back home
And now when he leaves on business trips and the meetings
It makes me feel sick and incomplete
Our boy needed his father home
I was on my own, disunited home

Intoxicating
I'm feeling jaded, overjoyed, dumb and giddy, and a little dizzy
The room is spinning and it's making me
Feel faint, faded fall to the floor make a scene
With all the eyes in the room, I sure hope that no one can see!


2. PRETTY IN PORCELAIN

I stand alone in the dark I feel glued cause I can't move
My heart it pounds in my chest fast as he takes his first step into the room
"My stomach drops deeply"
His eager eyes they stare undressing me
"I'm nauseous so sickly"
Am I dead, am I dreaming?
Oppressive caressing
Paralyzed, gotta wake up from this nightmare misery

But the nightmare's not over, it's only just begun
As he starts to arrange me, does it all for fun
And I'll have you know
I'm not a game you can play, a fucking doll to manipulate
His fingers feel like blades as they run up my thighs
He paints my face, changes my dress, I'm ready for his night
But not through my eyes
I'm stuck imprisoned and paralyzed

"Count to three open my eyes and see"
The world around me is still a nightmare
I gotta wakeup from this dream
What could it be this visions's trying to tell me
I can't see it clearly
Feel it try to break me

With his touch I feel the burn of a thousand suns
I try to scream I try to move but I just can't run
He's playing with me like a porcelain doll
But there's nothing I can do I just feel so small
Makeup running down my face
From the tears and the sweat I feel so disgraced
As he dresses and undresses me I fear I may die
Wake up, wake up, wake up!

But the nightmare's not over, it's only just begun
As he starts to arrange me, does it all for fun
And I'll have you know
I'm not a game you can play, a fucking doll to manipulate
His fingers feel like blades as they run up my thighs
He paints my face, changes my dress, I'm ready for his night
But not through my eyes
I'm stuck imprisoned and paralyzed

I'm stuck imprisoned and paralyzed
I know to you that I just seem like an inanimate being
Deep down inside I am alive and you are torturing me

The suffering you've inflicted
You're addicted
Cause you're head's sick
Actions wicked
Sick and twisted
Scars will heal but I'll still feel it!

But the nightmare's not over, it's only just begun
As he starts to arrange me, does it all for fun
And I'll have you know
I'm not a game you can play, a fucking doll to manipulate
(Please wake me up!)
His fingers feel like blades as they run up my thighs
He paints my face, changes my dress, I'm ready for his night
But not through my eyes
I'm stuck imprisoned and paralyzed


3. BURY MY BURDENS

I pray on my knees what are you trying to show me
God tell me please because it's driving me crazy
Am I sick?
(I'm sick!)
Fanatic or possessed by a demon inside me that is poisoning my soul deep from within

The fear the fear
That's imprisoned me here
Caused by these blackouts and nightmares that seem to have come from nowhere
I'm scared. Am I ill and impaired?
Or am I bound by a curse from an evil?
So I'll say a prayer

Please God please purge out this torment inside me

The night caught fire
The dark sunk in
I felt the venom deep within
Myself a toxic war.
We've all got something to live for
I must contain
My lunacy
Keep up the front that I'm okay
My burdens I must ignore
We've all got something to live for

I don't know why I faint
But these blackouts create these visions in my head of hate
Am I sick? Or is there more than it seems at first glance?
Is there a message hidden deep within these dreams?

Please God please
Purge out this torment inside me
Set me free
Or have you forsaken me?

The night caught fire
The dark sunk in
I felt the venom deep within
Myself a toxic war.
We've all got something to live for
I must contain
My lunacy
Keep up the front that I'm okay
My burdens I must ignore
We've all got something to live for

Locked away I'll hide out
Feels like I've come undone
Or I can leave now
But where can I go?
Where can I run?

We've all got something to live for
Gotta open my eyes to see through the storm.

And I try to maintain
The illusion of glee that makes me seem okay, day by day.
But it's starting to destroy me

I'll live a lie
Keep it inside
I'll live a lie
I'll live a lie

The night caught fire
The dark sunk in
I felt the venom deep within
Myself a toxic war.
We've all got something to live for
I must contain
My lunacy
Keep up the front that I'm okay
My burdens I must ignore
We've all got something to live for

I'll live a lie.


4. DEBILITATED

Secrets of the night
Make everyone go hide
Pretend we're not afraid
But we are terrified inside our minds
I visualize that everyone has died
Everyone has died, everyone has died, everyone has died!
And I try to masquerade the fear inside
But it's taking over, taking over my mind
I don't know how long I can hide but,

I will try
Again and again to fend off the fear inside
And I will strive because I must survive
These involuntary dreams
And every time I faint
I wake up in untold pain
Perplexity absurdity
Tell me please what's wrong with me?

He says, "I'm sure you're fine"-

You think I'm fine?-

I think you're fine
But I will run some tests for your piece of mind
I know how hard it can be
At home you cook and you clean
I just think you need some sleep

And for the dreams..

They're more than dreams! -

They're only dreams,

They're just imaginary, fiction, merely fantasy
I know your scared and afraid
but you can't let it persuade you
to feel so dismayed

I will try
Again and again to fend off the fear inside
And I will strive because I must survive
These involuntary dreams
And every time I faint
I wake up in untold pain
Perplexity absurdity
Tell me please what's wrong with me?

"Ma'am, I've received the results of your tests. And it appears you have either voluntarily or involuntarily ingested a high dose of a drug called Ketamine.
Is there something you're not telling me?"

NO!

I've been drugged
Taken advantage of
It must be what's causing all these dreams
It's smothering me, I can hardly breathe, every time I fall asleep!

I will try
Again and again to fend off the fear inside
And I will strive because I must survive
These involuntary dreams
And every time I faint
I wake up in untold pain
Perplexity absurdity
Tell me please what's wrong with me?


5. THE DARK YOU FEAR IN THE NIGHT

He said darling it'll be okay
We'll figure out this situation don't worry.

What?!

Don't patronize me with those condescending words you spew
Your point of view is filtered through your ignorance
I'm caving in!
I try to speak but I'm feeling weak
So I collapse down to my knees and cry will I ever see the light again?

Who could have done this sick misdeed again, again, repeatedly?

Transgression suffers me
Who could this culprit be?

My paranoia's conquering
The last hope left inside of me

Disintegrate my sanity
Tear me apart piece by piece

He said darling don't you cry
Now look me in the eyes and believe in me and the words I say
That its gonna be alright
(It's gonna be alright)
Revitalize your faith in life
My love I'll try
(I swear I'll try)
To reignite the hope and light
The dark you fear in the night

You don't understand
What it's like to be
Violated and forced into
Apprehension every time I fall asleep
Not just when I black out
But every night that I dream
It's a virus in my head for which there's no vaccine.

Who could have done this sick misdeed again, again, repeatedly?

Reticent sinful deeds
Threatens my morality

I look around and I can't see
But it feels like eyes are watching me
Panic anxiety, trepidation misery!

He said darling don't you cry
Now look me in the eyes and believe in me and the words I say
That its gonna be alright
(It's gonna be alright)
Revitalize your faith in life
My love I'll try
(I swear I'll try)
To reignite the hope and light
The dark you fear in the night

Every night I lie alone in our bed
While you play in our shed
With your hobbies, you're happy!
Do you know how I feel?
I'm lying there crazy!
Pulling the hair out of my head now my soul it feels dead.

He said darling don't you cry
Now look me in the eyes and believe in me and the words I say
That its gonna be alright
(It's gonna be alright)
Revitalize your faith in life
My love I'll try
(I swear I'll try)
To reignite the hope and light
The dark you fear in the night

Transgression suffers me
Who could this culprit be?


6. ELEVEN FIFTY NINE

It's eleven fifty-nine
It's the story of my life and everything that could change in it
It's eleven fifty-nine
It's the minute I could die and be lost to the end

God save me!

The clock counts down to my demise
Each faucet drip pierces my ears and swells my eyes
With tears I feel one now it burns as it runs down my face
I want to save myself but now I fear it's far too late

Fate hides outside
Worries run through my mind
What will I find, what will I find?
Under your medals, uniforms, and mini model Ts
A dirty secret that you never wanted us to see

Lost in the rain
I'm abandoned and betrayed
The predator's been preying all along and I'm the game
(And I'm the game!)
I should have known, should have seen the signs
Cause never were they clearer, I'm a mess, how will I ever survive?
The clock is ticking away
It's counting down the minutes to the seconds of the rest of our lives

You're sick, you're a plague on me
Cyanide you are the poison on society!
(You're slowly killing me!)
Perverted, twisted, fantasy!
How could you do this to me?!

Your lies have forsaken me
We were a family!

This proof just can't exist
Refuse to believe in this
God I should have known,
God I should have known!
These pictures of your victims some of them just barely teens!
In silver frame, your latest victim it's a picture of me!

Lost in the rain
I'm abandoned and betrayed
The predator's been preying all along and I'm the game
(And I'm the game!)
I should have known, should have seen the signs
Cause never were they clearer, I'm a mess, how will I ever survive?
The clock is ticking away
It's counting down the minutes to the seconds of the rest of our lives

I'm starving but I can't seem to eat
I'm so tired, but I won't fall asleep!
I won't lie down
I've got to lie down...
Fuck. I can't-
I can't breathe!

I should have known
You were the one who'd take it all away from me!

The labyrinth in my mind just trapped me in that horrible dream!

We fell in love. We shared a life, you vowed it all to me!

Your lies have forsaken me
We were a family!


7. YOUR ESCAPE

Where do we go from here?
We gotta disappear and get far away from this place.
(We have to escape)
The torment and piercing fear
All caused by this engineer of these twisted vicious games
(The direful pain)
Oh how our lives have changed
All hope replaced with rage our light was lit, but now it's fading away
Just like a sinking ship, we're going under to survive we must escape.
And overcome these waves.

Oh my god.
Oh my god!
I'm gonna be sick..
We've got to get out of here...
We've got to go!

Carry on my dear I tell myself you're strong and you can defeat this!
Clandestinely we will vanish free
Away and never return again
We've got to leave
My son and I must flee
Far away from this sick
Monstrosity
Perpetuate our broken lives and be free from this imperiling plight that is condemning me

Honey wake up I've packed your things
we've got to go we've got to leave
Our precious time's diminishing
We've got to hurry

We must leave!

Honey wake up I've packed your things
we've got to go we've got to leave
Our precious time's diminishing
We've got to hurry
We must leave!
Can't let him see the fear in me
I must hide my anxiety
To protect him from this agony
He's coming in you've got to leave!

Run...

Go run away and get out of here
Make no delays and go disappear
Go live the life that you want to you have to simply leave me here.
And son I swear it'll be okay
Just as long as you make your escape.
Don't be afraid of the world go make your mark and live another day.
Stay safe away!

He comes in through the doorway.
Each step he takes I pray he doesn't see him in the shadows of the hallway
Sneaking softly
Out the back way.

No! He won't let him go! Captured him!

Now he's a hostage
Locked in the closet

He pleads! Begs us not to leave!
Again and again and again and again!

He said,
"Who do you think you are
Trying to leave me?
You don't know who I am
Or all the things I've seen.
So take your final dose
My one last treat while you try to scream!"

Go run away and get out of here
Make no delays and go disappear
Go live the life that you want to you have to simply leave me here.
And son I swear it'll be okay
Just as long as you make your escape.
Don't be afraid of the world go make your mark and live another day.
Stay safe away!

Drift away from here
Feel it pulse through your veins!
Take your last breath
Just drift away!


8. MAZE IN MY MIND

Alone here in this empty room
Safe to presume that I've been here before
(Been here before)
I remember it here
Consumed by all of the fear
I can't take it anymore

Lie to me lie
Just lie please this can't be the truth. I'll deny, I'm stuck in my mind!

And it seems I have to fight my way through this. I've got to find a way away from here.

It's got me running around in circles! (Circles)
A manic maze in my head!
And will I ever wake up again?
Is this a dream or am I simply dead?

Lie to me!
Lie please this can't be the truth!
This knife stuck stabbed in my back that you used to carve out the hole, to suck out the soul from me!

It's got me running around in circles! (Circles)
A manic maze in my head!
And will I ever wake up again?
Is this a dream or am I simply dead?

Can't let this terror conquer me
Gotta wake myself from this sick dream
To make it through and be free
From this hellish world I see
Is there a chance I can succeed
Or should I just let it be?
This drug induced, unwilling, sleep
God wake me up you'll see
I will be strong I will be free
Never let another control me
That is a fact I'll guarantee
Believe in me

I'll proudly march from this room
Consumed by fear I will face my own doom
I'm lost inside my head
I will fight through never surrender
Have to be free or I'd rather be dead!

It's got me running around in circles! (Circles)
A manic maze in my head!
And will I ever wake up again?
Is this a dream or am I simply dead?


9. THE JUDGED

Ladies and gentlemen of this jury
I'm here today to bring this criminal to justice
One whose crimes are so heinous and evil
That if I had the power of the almighty I'd sentence her soul to hell!

You've been accused of this horrid abuse
Advocate your lies and hide behind your bruise
I'm not the culprit, I'm the victim of perjury
I swear I'm innocent cause I'm the one who's-
Guilty of the atrocities!
There's her confession, let's get on with the sentencing
That's bullshit!
He's the one who defiled me
See? She admitted it!
Honor you must convict!

I guess it's hard to see who is the blame
Stuck on the outside looking in
Humiliation fuels my shame
Want to shed off my skin

So discredit me and take it all
Because it seems I'm destined to fall
Disparage me and make the call
Deep down I know it's not my fault
I'm not to blame
How could I ever have asked for this?
So do your worst, I'll stand up tall
And I'll never feel guilty at all!

It's clear she instigated it
Sprits of chanel and her cherry lipstick
Used to tempt us with her smile over promiscuous dissident
Harlot's calamity
Order the penalty now!
Give her what she deserves
Lured him in with provocative beauty
She's done it before and she'll do it again
Trust me!

You're all so blind
How can't you see?
His argument's enormity
I've lost my faith in society
How could you do this to me?
To me

So discredit me and take it all
Because it seems I'm destined to fall
Disparage me and make the call
Deep down I know it's not my fault
I'm not to blame
How could I ever have asked for this?
So do your worst, I'll stand up tall
And I'll never feel guilty at all!

I will wake up, I will fight
Back to reality
I'd like to see you try
What a shame, I hope you said your goodbyes
I will prevail or I will die

Lock the cage, throw away the key
Settle in because you'll never be leaving
Lock the cage, throw away the key
You will suffer here, you will never leave

Lock the cage, throw away the key
Settle in because you'll never be leaving
Lock the cage, throw away the key
You will suffer here, you will stay asleep

You're all so sick, but now I see
This horrid dream is all just me
Blaming myself for this tragedy
But now I see it clearly

So discredit me and take it all
Because it seems I'm destined to fall
Disparage me and make the call
Deep down I know it's not my fault
I'm not to blame
How could I ever have asked for this?
So do your worst, I'll stand up tall
And I'll never feel guilty at all!

Guilty of sin
Judgement for crimes committed
Guilty of sin (guilty of sin)
Judgement for crimes committed
Guilty of sin (guilty of sin)
Judgement for crimes committed
Guilty of sin
Judgement for crimes committed
Guilty of sin
Judgement for crimes committed
Guilty of sin
Judgement for crimes committed


10. HOW THE MIGHTY MOCK THE WEAK

Your heavy hateful gaze places all the weight and blame right on my shoulders
Meant to bring me down to the ground and shiver while the room gets colder and colder
You thought it worked out all so well
You thought you sent me down to hell
You thought it worked out all so well but know that I'm not dead yet
No I'm not dead yet

And how the mighty mock the weak
I'm not one of them so here's a promise I will keep
And I swear I will be free
Never again, rule over me

Well you can try to bring me down to a place where I feel guilty, lost, and lonely
I won't let that happen now
You can try your best but I won't let you break me
I should have seen the signs were there
But I could never be prepared
I should have seen the signs were there but I wouldn't accept it I was scared
No I'm not dead yet

And how the mighty mock the weak
I'm not one of them so here's a promise I will keep
And I swear I will be free
Never again (never again)
Rule over me

Well I'm not scared!
I'll make it through somehow
This isn't over now
All of my fears
I'll overcome somehow
I'll overcome somehow!

And how the mighty mock the weak
I'm not one of them so here's a promise I will keep
And I swear I will be free
Never again (never again)
Rule over me


11. MARIONETTE

The stage is set for the scene
The special guest it must be me
Cause I'm the only one in this room
Except for my love, on stage, who's tied up awaiting doom

To my surprise suddenly I see
On stage his scene partner is me
So I'll sit down and take my seat
Enjoy the show meant just for me

The torturous rage that's performed on this stage
As I gaze at myself playing this role
It makes me feel whole when I'm in full control
I'm no longer a doll that you own

She cuts, slices, watches the blood drip down his arm
Just for the rush
He's confused. What will he do?
No intermission, onto act two!

I'll string you up
Make you my puppet
Hook in your arms and legs
My special marionette!

The torturous rage that's performed on this stage
As I gaze at myself playing this role
(Never felt this way before)
It makes me feel whole when I'm in full control
I'm no longer a doll that you own

You've ruined me and everything
That used to seem pleasant to me
Is now a broken mockery
Nostalgic lost reality
But now it seems within these dreams
The power all belongs to me
And now you know there is no hope
So I'll take this knife and slice it through your throat!

For you there is no hope!

You've ruined me and everything
That used to seem pleasant to me
Is now a broken mockery
Nostalgic lost reality
But now it seems within these dreams
The power all belongs to me
And now you know there is no hope
So I'll take this knife and slice it through your throat

The torturous rage that's performed on this stage
As I gaze at myself playing this role
(Never felt this way before)
It makes me feel whole when I'm in full control
I'm no longer a doll that you own


12. TEAR ME APART

I am awake!
My demons that I've defeated
Have come back to reality.
He doesn't know I'm still alive
I've got the element of surprise on my side
Evil or righteousness
What should I do with it?

So far he hasn't seen me
If I'm quiet I could crawl and sneak right over to the closet
Where my son's locked up and guarded
But I'm presented with this quandary
Once in a lifetime opportunity
To take advantage and avenge
And do some damage.
Take my sweet revenge!

Could pulverize, I could punish him!
Mutilate him like in my dreams
Or should I make my great escape?
Just take my son and run away

I will not fall
I will not follow your ways into the dark
(I won't be torn apart)
Temptation is there
Question is should I end him, leave, and make a new start?
Make a new start

Wanna make him bleed
feel the suffering!
Trauma he inflicted on me
I decry, cause he deserves to die!
Should I flee or should I end his life?
Bleed!
feel the suffering!
Trauma he inflicted on me
I decry, cause he deserves to die!
Should I flee or should I end his life?

I will not fall
I will not follow your ways into the dark
(I won't be torn apart)
Temptation is there
Question is should I end him, leave, and make a new start?
Make a new start

Get up behind you
Snuck up a knife before me lies a chance to end you.
(A chance to end you.)
Now what will I do?
Give you a dose of your own medicine in the syringe,
I'll take it and I'll push it in your skin!

Wanna make him bleed
feel the suffering!
Trauma he inflicted on me
I decry, cause he deserves to die!
Should I flee or should I end his life?

I will not fall
I will not follow your ways into the dark
(I won't be torn apart)
Temptation is there
Question is should I end him, leave, and make a new start?
Make a new start

I didn't fall
I didn't follow your ways into the dark
(Into the dark)
I will never become the despicable monster that you really are.
You can't tear me apart!