CRUCIAL UNIT
1. FIVE INCHES OF OPPRESSION
Your novelty records are a bloody sham
And they cost more money for much less music
They - they don't even play
What a fucking waste
End the oppression
Add two inches
End it!
2. I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR NO SCREAMO
One look at the masses of kids with short pants
And you tell a flood of watered down hardcore is coming our way
Kids with dyed black hair and Rod Stewart haircuts
Are ready to Klingon the next big thing hyped by the internet
I scream, you scream, we all scream
...For no screamo!
We always see them dropping mics at fests
While they are crying about their crappy love lives
Since when was screamo all about littering, cat calling and fashion?
3. NINE HUNDRED SAMOSAS
Nine hundred dollars for a separated shoulder
Is a lot of money - I don't have that
Socialized healthcare is what I prefer
Separated shoulder eats a bag of shit
Medical bills go straight to the trash
Nine hundred samosas would really be neat
You may think that a dollar for a samosas
Is a lot of money, until you've tasted one
I'm not paying you, I'll buy samosas instead
I'm not paying you, don't tell me what to do
4. WALL OF DEATH THE CHAIN OF LIFE
Riding my bike and I saw such a mess
Hundreds of white people in protest
I rode a bit closer to see why they were pissed
Thought they were buying Barry Manilow tickets
They weren't coming from playing tennis
But they had a picture of a giant fetus
I knew it was time to round up the kids
So we could lock arms and fucking resist
Wall of death the chain of fucking life
5. I HEARD MAYDAY WAS A RIOT
Reclaim the streets
Take back what is ours
People, not commerce
Bicycles, not cars
We will take to the fucking streets
To express our dissent with the world
As well as history they try to hide
People in the streets
Fuck police brutality
Media distorts the truth
They see what they can sell
They hear what they want to hear
Only way to spread the truth
Is by doing this every year
6. SCRABBLE PUNX
Spelling, phonics, vocab
Killing time at work
Spelling, phonics, vocab
Passing time in the van
S-C-R-A-B-B-L-E-P-U-N-X
We are the Scrabble Punx
Double word score
Triple word score
Triple letter
We are the Scrabble Punx
7. MILLION DOLLAR THRASH SONG
I am going to have to use
Two annoying-ass bogus dudes
Who happen to be named Bill and Ted
In order to gain access to their time machine
System - bogus
Thrashcore - excellent
George Bush - bogus
Time machine - excellent
I am going to take direct action
By using technology to my advantage
I will change the fucking system
Keeping another Bush from being President
Abort George Bush, prevent GW
I am going to abort your Texan ass
With the help of my time machine
I am going to prevent your white power ass
By aborting you
You pig fucking Nazi!
Satyr asshole!
8. THIS MACHINE KILLS BUFFETS
Uh oh! Here come five hungry dudes
Who are ready to destroy your buffet
Fake meat, Chinese, Indian, Ethiopian, Mediterranean
Killin' buffets, eating machines
This machine kills buffets
Kill buffets, kill buffets
This machine kills buffets
9. THRASHAHOLICS UNANIMOUS
Dance floor justice
Ragers and thrashers' need for moshing
Is ruined by mosh pit masturbation
Macho Kung Fu Karate kicks are so inconsiderate
Let's just circle pit
Fuck your individualist mosh
No neo-liberals in the pit
Forget our differences in the circle pit
MUNICIPAL WASTE
10. THE GARBAGE STOMP (INTRO)
(instrumental)
11. WICKED FIT
(No lyrics available)
12. POSER DISPOSER
In this small town, there lies something
Rarely seen by human beings
On a deserted road, in a dusty shed
There is a place where evil is fed
Corpse lay strewn out
Like decorations on the wall
Where many posers fought to keep their lives
But eventually fucking lost!
Poser disposer will tear you apart!
Tight pants, white belt
Hair looks like a rooster
You just topped the list
For an attitude booster
Poser disposer will tear you apart!
Fueled by the blood
Of the posers it's destroyed
Causing death and carnage
From the moment it's deployed
Chips of severed bones
Fly through the gears
Dying screams of mangled posers
Ringing through your ears!
Perhaps one day you'll cross the path
Of this machine of fucking thrash
You're disposed!
13. CHEMICAL ARTILLERY (THE TOXIC SURVIVAL)
A fire burned across the land
To destroy all mankind
Warriors clad with toxic pistols
Now rising from the slime
Armies pour onto the streets
Wasting what is pure
The smell of revolution
Quickly climbing from the sewer
Oozing flesh prevails
The city slowly rots
While the waste is chilling
In their room smoking lots of pot
Cities left in flames
Streets paved with refuse
Toxic soldiers charge the world
Chemical abuse
In toxic war!
We will survive!
There's fire all around
Time's up! This is it!
Let's burn 'em to the ground
Stand up! Waste that shit!
The world is melting down
The human race is forced to quit
In this toxic war
We are chemically fit!
In toxic war!
We will survive!
14. INSURANCE FRAUD
Down and out? Broke again?
Bills are piling to your chin
Well here's a plan that's pretty sick
If you're in need of money quick
Just contact us, we'll screw the man
This is our insurance plan!
And after we're done
Those Geico motherfuckers
Aren't gonna know what hit 'em!
We'll cut brake lines, we'll slice your tires
We'll hit you in the face with a pair of pliers!
We'll light the match
We'll crash your car, swing bats!
Insurance fraud!
Make sure you're fully covered
With a sweet insurance plan
So you can reap the benefits
Of this fucking brilliant scam
For one lump sum
The Waste will give you all your riches
With a couple of broken legs
And about four hundred stitches!
We want trucks, jetskis and a grill!
15. SCANTRON SLAMATHON (DETENTION MOSH SESSION, PART 2)
No matter which letter you circle
You're wrong!
16. BORN TO PARTY
Some say we drink too much
They say we're just not cool
Well I fucking like to party
It's what I was born to do!
Blazing through your last case
Smoking your weed, smashing your face!
Hey man, this party sucks, they're all outta beer!
How can we party down? There's no weed here!
On to the next one, we'll have a good time
Drinking Facedowninshit's strawberry moonshine!
Onward to the next case
Smoking your weed, smashing your face!
Municipal Waste is gonna fuck you up!
17. ABUSEMENT PARK
Step right up for games and prizes
For reall cool rides and a fun safe time
So I did, not knowing that the park
Hidden behind tall fences and red curtains
Was a fate worse than death
So I stepped right up as fear took hold
My heart stopped and my blood ran cold!
Running for your life!
Through a maze of pain
Welcome to the circus of a mind deranged
Come aboard the ride that's designed for death
As abusement takes your last breath
Run to find an exit, weaving through the dark
A freakshow has taken over this park!
18. PERCY'S TRIP TO THE DENTIST
Percy didn't know that the dentist liked killing
Percy didn't know that he wouldn't stop drilling
Dentist will see you now!
19. Haunted Junkyard
And the metal came twisting from the foreground
And the fury was burning all around
And the corpses of the guardsmen screamed in constant death
With gasoline and anti-freeze and oil on their breath
Beware! The junkyard's haunted to the bone!
Be scared! Because you're all alone!
This is the lair! Bow to the scrap metal throne!
While your hair burns down to your dome!
Keep out! Haunted junkyard!
Evil crawls were your eyeballs lurk
Safety seems light years away
Withered machines tear through your shirt
The haunted junkyard is where your corpse will lay!
And the metal came twisting from the foreground
And the fury was burning all around
And the corpses of the guardsmen screamed in constant death
With gasoline and anti-freeze and oil on their breath
Keep out!
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