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| CDcame out the 16 May 2008 - Fuck The Ass Records |
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1. Welcome To My Cornfields 1.51
2. Herpes Injection 1.55
3. Preteen Bitch With The Itch For Dick 1.28
4. My Teen Twat Torture Chamber 1.44
5. Slant Eyed Sex Slave 1.17
6. His Trail Of Cunt Corpses (tribute to Ted Bundy) 1.40
7. Eating While She's Bleeding 2.30
8. Natural Born Whores 2.16
9. I Beat Cunts 1.02
10. You'll Never Catch Me Chris Hansen 1.55
11. Midwest Cop Killer 1.55
12. Food For The Maggots 3.22
13. Things They Do For Cock 2.17
14. LSD Flesh Feast 1.34
15. Two Fat Sluts Buttfucked With Pig Guts 1.59
16. 63 Fag Body Bag 2.07
17. A Rural Midwest Incest Fest 1.09
18. Infant Bred For Incest 1.34
Total playing time 33.30
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| Mini-Review |
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Cemetery Rapist is a one piece band. That’s right… one man. Clay Lamanske who looks like a cross between a pedophile, a rapist and a corpse fucker, plays guitar and programs the drums as well as do all the vocals. The latest album is titled “Children of the Porn” released through Fuck The Ass Records (who Clay fucking owns). Personally I think the album was named after every student in an all girls catholic school, but that’s just me. The genre is death metal mixed in with grindcore. If you’re a fan of Mortician then you’ll probably like this album. All the songs have the same drum pace and guitar work, as well as each song beginning with a recording from a film in relation to the song. The only difference is that Mortician vocals sound like a gorilla limping in pain. Cemetery Rapist vocals sound like a cricket… I’m not fucking kidding either… seriously… A FUCKING CRICKET!!!!!!!!!!
It’s very hard to take this album seriously when it’s fronted by only one man, porn themed, on a labeled called Fuck The Ass Records and spoof titled after one of the crapiest horror movies out there. SERIOUSLY… A FUCKING CRICKET!!! Sorry, sorry. Moving on…
It makes me wonder how one man can base his entire life around porn. God, I can just imagine the off conversations with this guy now…
CLAY: So this one time when I was going down on this girl while she was on her period…
ME: TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!!!!!!!
Think I just said that for kicks? WRONG!!! With a song on the album titled “Eating While She’s Bleeding” you begin to wonder.
SERIOUSLY… A FUCKING CRICKET!!!
*Deep Breath* Okay got to try and hold that in now….
I would’ve talked about the lyrical content of the album only I download it rather than buy it with the lyrics that come in the booklet with the album. And I couldn’t find any lyrics on the internet either. Times like this I wish I were Dr Doolittle, maybe then I could understand the language of the cricket to figure out what the fuck Clay is saying. SERIOUSLY… A FUCKING CRICKET!!!
Anyway I’m not even sure if I WANT to what the lyrics are. The song titles are enough to make me widen my eyes so much that they look like overcoat buttons.
Fecalized Rectal Sperm Spewage is another one man band also created by Clay. So by now I’m guessing you’re all getting the fact that this guy is just obsessed with gore themed fucking. I didn’t like the album, the music, the guitars, the lyrics I didn’t read (but I’m sure I’d have thought they were shit), the drums, the vocals… SERIOUSLY… A FUCKING CRICKET!!! And well let’s just say there’s a reason I didn’t buy the album and a reason why I wiped the MP3 files off my computer after listening to the whole album ONCE and ONLY once. Still I’d love to meet Clay Lamanske. Then I could cut off his arms and lock him in a room full of porn.
Mwhahahaha!!!
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